so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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