You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
