i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
