Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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