I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
