dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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