people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize