I looked at my own cervix.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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