he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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