It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
