He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
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Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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