is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
