she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
