Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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