Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
