Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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