At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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