the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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