Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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