I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We just shotgunned beers for America
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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