my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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