I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
