what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
