my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
