the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
