her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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