Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
