Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
