brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so explain again why im purple
no
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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