Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
