your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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