i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize