Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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