Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.