I am spending my child support on dildos
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy