I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
