it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
