Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
