We're facebook friends in real life
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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