Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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