i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
