Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize