I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize