i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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