Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
