On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
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I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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