She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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