She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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