i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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