His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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