she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
