I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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