Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
