God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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