her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
