my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
