Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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