ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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