and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
