Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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