How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
