Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I cut my penus on the lid.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize