We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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