Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
my liver is dry heaving
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
