I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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