Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
